Tag Archives: Beijing

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Terribly Cute Beijing Marriage License Photos

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I know this is mildly goofy, but many of Beijing's photo labs will still produce classic Marriage License photos. And they're just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. The Polaroid framing, the flowery carved edges, it's all too cool. And the pose was rigorously enforced -- we were molded into those positions over ...

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The Ten Great Buildings of China, and Their Gruesome Pasts

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In 1959, Mao was one hell of a proud man. As the new Emperor of China, he'd led an unbelievable boom in food production, completely eliminated the need for medicine and science, and "enticed the snakes out of their caves" with a hundred flowers -- all in just ten years! So he decided ...

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Another Diana Pose at the Taj Mahal

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From Beijing's miniature Taj Mahal, of course... Oh, what an unforgettable day that was...

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Beijing’s Single Most Horrific Meal

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The Beijing Penis Restaurant, officially known as Guolizhuang, doesn't just serve cock. You can get absolutely anything there. Stewed Deer Face. Sheep foetus in brown garlic sauce. Peacock claws. It's like a Guangzhouren's wet dream. And the peacock's name was as poetic as the plating. It was called A Set of Palms from Heaven ...

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Peking Opera Dreams

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I've long dreamed of full Peking Opera costume and makeup. After five hours and far too much money, it finally became a reality. I have to say, this photo shoot was one of the most mind-blowingly cool things we've done in China... Book a session yourself at FMNZ.com Currently on Liangmaqiao's Anjia Lou in Beijing, ...

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Bizarre Old North Korean Stamps Celebrating Regal Excess

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On my way out of Deshengmen Tower -- where you'll find a strange collection of ramshackle museums crammed in together -- I noticed the most remarkable thing for sale: old North Korean stamps, celebrating European regal excess! There was the Versailles stamp, which reeks of excessive opulence... Franz Joseph I hot on the chase... And of ...

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On Eating “Old Beijing Fried Enema”

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"Why not start today with a plate of freshly-fried old enema," I thought. It was bright, garish, and advertised on the wall. "It must be good." It wasn't. Dripping in oil and yet crispy enough to snap a molar, it tasted like a bad plate of pork cracklings. The dipping sauce -- chopped garlic in ...

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On Eating a Steaming Hot Bowl of Sweet AIDS Soup

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"I'll have the AIDS soup," I said. It wasn't officially called AIDS soup. Not now. Shortly after I'd blogged about their deviant menus, the restaurant had crossed out every appearance of the word "AIDS" with a sharpie. Now it was simply "Strong Tibetan Sheep Placenta Nourishing Soup [XXXX]." Still a mouthful. But I'd had a few beers, ...

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Rediscovering Beijing: The Ancient Observatory

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The author of the the 1897 guide book charts the Astronomical Observatory as one of the must-sees of Old Peking. It's his first stop on any three-day tour. I'd always planned to pay a visit. This is what you see from the highway: Almost identical, but... In 1897 it wasn't a museum. It was a working ...

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Rediscovering Beijing: Finding the Elephants

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On using an 1897 guidebook to explore modern Beijing... My adventures begin with the elephants. A few hundred yards westward of (the Shun-chih-men) is the place for the Imperial elephants, the Hsün-hsiang-so, a large enclosure in which the elephants of the Court are kept... The intelligent animals are taught to salute the Emperor by kneeling down, and ...

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Rediscovering Beijing with an 1897 Guide

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Did you know that Beijing has a dozen or so elephants that kneel as the emperor passes by? Seriously. At least that's what my book says. It's a Beijing travel guide from 1897, author unknown, that Charlie Custer found on archive.org. The copy originally belonged to Herbert Hoover, China expat and one-time US President. ...

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Bootleg Wikipedia-Brand Bread

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Why buy generic no-name Beijing loafery when you can pay just a few extra kuai for the sweet wheat of Wikipedia-brand bread? Oops, sorry, Wekipedia-brand. That's right! The Free Encyclowheatia That Anyone Can Edit! Now all that's left to do is pair it with some McDonald's Eggs for a copyright infringing Egg in the ...

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The Chinese Businessman Museum

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With only ten days left in Beijing, I'm realizing how many things I've left undone. The Summer Palace... Fragrant Hills... the Chinese Businessman Museum! It's ugly, so you might not notice it. It's in Sihui, so it's hell to reach. It's expensive, so who wants to enter. And it's also a lie. The museum ...

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Ice Cream Flavored Soda, the Perfect Summer Treat

Headline says it all, if you ask me. Michelle's first words after a pull were more like shrieks. "Oh my god," she cried. "It's like an ice cream float in a bottle!" Softly vanilla-scented and creamy, barely carbonated, sweet but not too sweet, it was just lovely. I added a strong pour of Mongolian vodka, and a ...

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Badminton Theme Restaurant

The Professor just cycled by this brand spanking new Wangjing eatery. "Shuttlecock shaped plates?" he offered. "Badminton-racket-strained spaghetti?" As long as they allow hairpin net shots, I'm in!

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Castration Classes at the Beijing Eunuch Culture Exhibition Hall

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The first time I ever met The Professor, he told me about the eunuch museum. He didn't say much. Just that there was one. In West Beijing. "You really should go," he said. "It's... well, it's interesting." He adjusted his glasses the way a professor should, but he wouldn't say more. ...

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Nazi Fashion in China

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That's twice I've seen guys on my street wearing the Nazi iron cross. The first was an office worker on lunch break. He was dressed in a handsome suit, but in place of a tie wore a heavy Nazi cross. He saw me staring, and he smiled. I think he thought it looked dapper. ...

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Kakka-Style Meat, and More Uighur Menu Mishaps

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Local Xinjiang menu doubles as undiscovered Situationist/Dada manifesto... All seen at 都市同心阁 (also known as "Concentric Urban Court" or "One-Hearted City Pavilion"), Gongti Beilu. Avoid the dodgy 串。

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Beijing Toilet Demands Seat Belts and Defence Masks, and Still Warns Against “Daop Down”

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He was desperate to cover all his bases. Or maybe this was just a really twisted shitter.

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Another Gem of McDonald’s Piracy

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A few weeks ago I found these gorgeous McEggs at the local supermarket... McAwesome! But Jade Garden Jewelry has also jumped on the McBandwagon. Clearly, there's a new Beijing logo-piracy McMovement.

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