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On Eating “Old Beijing Fried Enema” Chinglish Extraordinary Eats 

On Eating “Old Beijing Fried Enema”

“Why not start today with a plate of freshly-fried old enema,” I thought. It was bright, garish, and advertised on the wall. “It must be good.” It wasn’t. Dripping in oil and yet crispy enough to snap a molar, it tasted like a bad plate of pork cracklings. The dipping sauce — chopped garlic in water — left it with a flavor and me with a breath from hell. I’d assumed “enema” was a gross mismangling of “sausage” — 灌肠 can mean either. But I was wrong. The name was…

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On Eating a Steaming Hot Bowl of Sweet AIDS Soup Chinglish Events Extraordinary Eats 

On Eating a Steaming Hot Bowl of Sweet AIDS Soup

“I’ll have the AIDS soup,” I said. It wasn’t officially called AIDS soup. Not now. Shortly after I’d blogged about their deviant menus, the restaurant had crossed out every appearance of the word “AIDS” with a sharpie. Now it was simply “Strong Tibetan Sheep Placenta Nourishing Soup [XXXX].” Still a mouthful. But I’d had a few beers, and scraped at the sharpie with my fingernail. The AIDS came back. Now I knew what I was getting. Strong Tibetan Sheep Placenta Nourishing Soup AIDS. And this was what I’d come for.

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A Sweet Series of Chinglishy Gift Fails Chinglish 

A Sweet Series of Chinglishy Gift Fails

Christmas wrapping paper always works well. Especially for Papa Pickles’ belated birthday present… But the wrapping paper turned out to be a little more generic than we’d expected. And the greeting card, which Woo bought in Bangalore, turned out to have a rather unexpected adhesive. That’s right, as in the maxi pads. At least we didn’t have to lick it, I guess…

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Sheep Placenta AIDS Soup Chinglish Events Extraordinary Eats 

Sheep Placenta AIDS Soup

Sure, every restaurant may have a maggot-filled dish called Insect Story, and what’s a Chinese restaurant without a Jacopetti-inspired Monkey Head offering (even if it is just a bowl of fried mushrooms). I don’t know, however, of a single other Beijing restaurant that boasts acquired immune deficiency syndrome sheep placenta soup. That’s right: AIDS soup, the most improbably-named dish at the inconsolably-named Forgotten Perfume restaurant. The small text opens with the words “A fish sex sweet,” and continues to boast this soup is great for those with “frail body, hepatosplenomegaly,…

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Another Mind-Blowingly Incredible Menu Chinglish 

Another Mind-Blowingly Incredible Menu

After the insane Cultural Revolution restaurant menu, I didn’t think I’d ever be impressed by mistranslated food titles again. Boy, was I wrong. Below are some of my new favorite dishes from our local duck restaurant. One dish wasn’t mistranslated at all. And it’s my favorite… spicy, awesome, and a weird unexpected bone in the middle. Oh, yes…. As seen at JingZun Peking Duck Restaurant, No 6 Building Nouth [sic], Holiday Inn Express Opposite Chunxiu Road [sic], Chaoyang District, Beijing. 010-6417-4075.

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Beijing Supermarket Sells Crack, Aisle 4 Chinglish 

Beijing Supermarket Sells Crack, Aisle 4

We haven’t seen this Jingkelong supermarket sign ourselves, but reader Randi sent it in, adding, “Apparently, their marketing strategy is to appeal to customers at two different ends of the spectrum — or maybe this is a brilliant plan to encourage people with a bad habit to try to offset its effects.” Classic. 膨化食品 (Pénghuà shípǐn) is actually just junk food. If you’re really looking for ready rocks, ask for “可卡因” (Kěkǎyīn).

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