The Cockiest Shrine in Bangkok

At Bangkok’s Goddess Tuptim Shrine, there’s something prickly going down.

At this veritable penis park, there are whoppers, dongers, cocks and dicks, carved-off woodies and sleek shiny johnsons in stacks.

Every last one is circumcised. Even the cocks of cocks.

Known locally as the Chao Mae Tuptim, this overgrown shrine is tucked–ever so discretely–behind The Swissôtel parking lot. Apparently the staff don’t like to mention it.

Palad khik are a bit of an embarrassment to many modern Thais. Basically magic dildos, they used to be carried for luck, tucked in a pocket, carried in a handbag, apparently even worn in the hair. They gave strength, and virility. But today, they’re seen as quaint, eccentric, and weird.

It took three visits to the Swissôtel before I found the way in. The staff pretended they had no idea what I was asking about. A guard waved me to the locked gates of a park down the street. Locals just ignored me.

But finally I found a friend who knew exactly where it was. And inside, the park was empty. A cat watched me suspiciously from the head of a concrete johnson. I avoided the pun, and she scurried away.

While many modern Thai’s seem to ignore the magic dildos, people do still believe. While I took photos of the cocks, a woman ducked in. She bowed her head, lifted her hands in prayer, then scurried off quickly. Just like the cat.

Some people bring phalluses (phalli?) to add to the collection. One of the palad khik was a comically oversized sex toy, caucasian colored with some massive testicles. Others had left little figurines in a carefully-ordered row. One aged couple of figurings seemed perfect: a cocky man and his wife, a leering ol’ perv…

…while the clay children scattered in the greens were so damn happy.

Ferry boats churn down the klong alongside the park, while these proud peters stand so tall.

(Directions: Go to the very end of Soi Sumkhit, alongside Central Department Store. Confidently walk past the guard’s hut on the right, then take a quick left. Look amongst the trees.)

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10 Responses to The Cockiest Shrine in Bangkok

  1. oh biZARRE!!! but i still don’t get what the cat pun is….

  2. Aaron says:

    I gonna go speak to the garden committee, cause the big tree in the middle of connaught sq definitely needs a johnson shrine!

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  5. I cannot believe that I missed this when I was there with your mother!!! Aaron is right, this would be perfect for Connaught Square. I might even start one in my garden here in Nashville.

    • Dean Pickles says:

      Harriet, the next time you’re in Bangkok, you do need to go! It’s peaceful, and somehow so very reassuring.

  6. Charles says:

    The maroon one in the last photo – the one with the lei-type adornment – appears to be a sculpture of a penis with a tail enjoying conjugal relations with another penis. It might also be a monkey. Either way, welcome to Obama’s America.

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