Now that we have our Chinese taxidermy certificates, Woo and I needed to get stuffing.
A woman in Qingdao, after hours of discussions, agreed to send a friend to Beijing with a box of frozen rats. He took the all-night bus, and showed up with a dripping styrofoam box. “I got confused, and lost, and they melted a little,” he said.
Inspired by The End of History, a limited-edition series of beer, sold mounted inside taxidermied squirrels for $700, I decided to try my own budget recreation: “The Dazzling Dream of Deng Xiaoping.” I took a 50ml bottle of raspberry-infused Kiss vodka, which I’d been given at The Beijinger Awards show recently, and mounted it inside a stuffed white mouse.
I mean really, is there any better way to show up at a cocktail party than with one of these in hand?
The hosts were horrified, but it was May Day! International Worker’s Day! The Internationale was playing over the loudspeakers, and we were honoring the workers of China! Of the world!!
Okay, I know… how does a bottle of vodka shoved up a mouse honor the workers of the world?
Well, as Deng Xiaoping said 50 years ago in Guangzhou, “不管黑猫白猫，捉到老鼠就是好猫！” (“It doesn’t matter if the cat is black or white. If it catches mice, it’s a good cat.”) And mice, as we all know, are good for the workers!
I guess it’s a good thing there weren’t any cats for sale on Taobao, eh?